Never worry about your future again. Check out the job postings and business opportunities below! Thanks to Sun tv you can be well on your way to financial freedom!
Out-of-work older movie stars/former starlets:
Never made it in the big bad world of Thamizh cinema? Did not graduate from item numbers? Get ready for a fresh new career. Take a dabba of ponds dream flower talc, shake it all over your head, grab your mom's old sungudi saree, paint your face gray and you are all set! You can be the next famous on screen mom/mother-in-law.
Looking for job satisfaction? You can act in three different roles simultaneously! Act as the long suffering mother in law in the popular 12:00 pm prime-time-for-retired-ladies serial. Then, wear some makeup, rush over to the next set, and act as the bitchy mother-in-law in the popular 7:00 pm prime-time-for-working-women-just-back-home serial. Finally, untie your hair, look a little mysterious, and play the best role of your career in one of the many supernatural serials. Religious type? Find yourself a role in Raja rajeshwari!!
Look no further for job security. All these serials will continue for the next 40 years of your life!
In your early twenties? Want to enter the entertainment world?
But worried you can never compete with the Trishas or Asins? Know too much Thamizh to ever act in Thamizh cinema? No worries! You can now grab yourself big roles in mega serials. Excellent benefits! No need to worry about creating your signature personality or looks. Just wake up in the morning, take a center parting in your hair, wear a slick one-plait and a simple cotton saree, grab your handbag, and you are ready to go! Act in one serial in the morning as the long suffering sister, then, rush off to the next set to act as the catty sister in law. Finally, finish your day by crying copiously in your career-defining role as Radhika's 8th cousin sister! You do not need to worry about costume changes, nobody cares! You can get by with looking exactly the same in all the serials you star in!
Warning: If your body mass index is in the healthy range for your height, you could seriously be jeopardizing your career chances. Add 20 pounds, as unnaturally as possible, and apply soon for your dream supporting-sister/bitchy-in-law role! (sorry, the leading lady roles are reserved for out-of-work actresses)
Handbag manufacturers - Empower women! Make the kolangal handbag!
Are you suffering from a failing export business due to stiff competition from Gucci and Prada? Worried you can never make a bag that can even remotely compete with Fendi? Rest easy, you just found your dream market. Make the popular Devyani handbag!
Design specifications: Strap long enough to touch the floor. Should make the user keep clutching on to it for dear life. Body of the handbag needs to be big, black and as shapeless as possible. Dusty just-got-out-of-ptc-bus finish preferred.
Target market: Millions of loyal Kolangal fans and Devyani wannabes
Cloth bag(Thuni pai manufacturers)- Brand new market space! Target all harried Dads!
Potential business oppurtunity to make thuni pais. Target market will be elderly Gentleman who have a minimum of 6 daughters. Will help them carry fruits and other gifts as they make their rounds from one daughter's pugundha veedu to another. Need special compartment inside for storing youngest daughter's jaadhagam as dads make the kalyana tharagar rounds
Warning: You might face stiff competition from retailers such as Nalli who give away this classy bag for free. Differentiate your bag by giving it unique personality. Print pictures of the metti oli dad on all bags! First 1000 buyers will get their bags personally autographed by him
Sunday, October 23, 2005
Saturday, October 22, 2005
Celebrating Ambi mama!!!
DISCLAIMER:
I am posting this, totally unaware of any copyright violations I might be guilty of!I truly do not know who wrote this originally. I got this as an email forward and spent 10 minutes rolling on the floor laughing!
Ambi Mama is leading Brahmin relative" - Survey
A survey has revealed that 'Ambi Mama' is the leading relative among Tamil Brahmin families worldwide, with six in ten families having one of their own (a 60% repsesentation. Apparently, Ambi Mama held off stiff competition from Mani Mama (with 55% representation) and Baby Chitti (39%) for a well-deserved win.
"It's a great day for all Ambi Mamas. All the years of hard work – drinking coffee, criticizing the Indian team selection and complaining about blood-pressure – have finally paid off. Yay!", said Ambi Mama, a spokesman for the Ambi Mamas Association of Dear Old Rascals (AMBASSADOR), a division of the Hardcore Brahmin Organisation (HBO). [Editor's note – The previous sentence has been roundly condemned by the Society for Prevention of Abbreviations that are Needless, Dumb and Execrable (SPANDEX)]
Some of the stalwarts of the Ambi Mama team pose for a photographer, after blading him with outdated advice on the best cameras, film, and lighting.
Mani Mamas all over the world watched in anguish as the final results were announced, plunging them into gloom. "It's no fun being a Mani Mama anymore", said Mani Mama. " Maybe if I change my name to 'Ramesh Anna', I will have a brighter future", he pondered pointlessly.
The survey also said that a respectable number of families (or a number of respectable families, as the case may be), have a Vaidhi Thatha, Bangalore Anna, and at least one random guy named 'Chandroo' who is at all functions, but no-one can really place (and may not be related at all).
Predictably, bringing up the rear were non-entities like Driscoll Periappa, Jessica Alba Anni and Darth Vader Mama, which had zero representation. "Brahmins are way too conservative, dude!", complained Cleveland Shankar, one of the more modern Iyer boys (or boyz, if you prefer. We offer multiple-choice reading. You're welcome.). "When are they going to drop old duds like Venkatakrishnan, Suresh and Balaji, and start using hipper names like Jason, Beyonce and The Human Torch?", he asked, to wide applause from a group of people watching cricket on a nearby television.
Not all are happy with progress, however. "These youngsters are ruining everything by naming their children Archish, Dhruv and Plaha.", thundered Badri Athimber. " Can you imagine how it will sound? Dhruv Mama, Anamika Athai, Archish Chittappa – Ugh! Phooey! That is so not cool!!", he growled, using expressions of disgust picked up from his states-based co-brother.
When asked for their response, several Brahmins living in Adyar merely arched their eyebrows, pursed their lips, and continued waiting for the December music season.
I am posting this, totally unaware of any copyright violations I might be guilty of!I truly do not know who wrote this originally. I got this as an email forward and spent 10 minutes rolling on the floor laughing!
Ambi Mama is leading Brahmin relative" - Survey
A survey has revealed that 'Ambi Mama' is the leading relative among Tamil Brahmin families worldwide, with six in ten families having one of their own (a 60% repsesentation. Apparently, Ambi Mama held off stiff competition from Mani Mama (with 55% representation) and Baby Chitti (39%) for a well-deserved win.
"It's a great day for all Ambi Mamas. All the years of hard work – drinking coffee, criticizing the Indian team selection and complaining about blood-pressure – have finally paid off. Yay!", said Ambi Mama, a spokesman for the Ambi Mamas Association of Dear Old Rascals (AMBASSADOR), a division of the Hardcore Brahmin Organisation (HBO). [Editor's note – The previous sentence has been roundly condemned by the Society for Prevention of Abbreviations that are Needless, Dumb and Execrable (SPANDEX)]
Some of the stalwarts of the Ambi Mama team pose for a photographer, after blading him with outdated advice on the best cameras, film, and lighting.
Mani Mamas all over the world watched in anguish as the final results were announced, plunging them into gloom. "It's no fun being a Mani Mama anymore", said Mani Mama. " Maybe if I change my name to 'Ramesh Anna', I will have a brighter future", he pondered pointlessly.
The survey also said that a respectable number of families (or a number of respectable families, as the case may be), have a Vaidhi Thatha, Bangalore Anna, and at least one random guy named 'Chandroo' who is at all functions, but no-one can really place (and may not be related at all).
Predictably, bringing up the rear were non-entities like Driscoll Periappa, Jessica Alba Anni and Darth Vader Mama, which had zero representation. "Brahmins are way too conservative, dude!", complained Cleveland Shankar, one of the more modern Iyer boys (or boyz, if you prefer. We offer multiple-choice reading. You're welcome.). "When are they going to drop old duds like Venkatakrishnan, Suresh and Balaji, and start using hipper names like Jason, Beyonce and The Human Torch?", he asked, to wide applause from a group of people watching cricket on a nearby television.
Not all are happy with progress, however. "These youngsters are ruining everything by naming their children Archish, Dhruv and Plaha.", thundered Badri Athimber. " Can you imagine how it will sound? Dhruv Mama, Anamika Athai, Archish Chittappa – Ugh! Phooey! That is so not cool!!", he growled, using expressions of disgust picked up from his states-based co-brother.
When asked for their response, several Brahmins living in Adyar merely arched their eyebrows, pursed their lips, and continued waiting for the December music season.
Friday, October 21, 2005
The best south indian food!
The awful thing about traveling is the lack of good food and sub zero temperatures inside airplanes (no amount of layers keeps me warm). I woke up this morning dreaming about my favorite comfort foods. I'll try and post recipes for these. If you are feeling blue, nothing cheers you up like these dishes!
1) Paruppu saadham with nei and plain keerai masiyal (not the keerai with paruppu) - Mom, could you post the plain keerai masiyal recipe?
2) Thick thayir saadham with maavadu oorgai (maavadu deserves its own blog, so more on that coming up later)
3) Poori and choley (made iyer aathu style)
4) Pulao and thengai paal kootu
5) Rasam saadham and chips!
6) Puli saadham - temple prasadham type (Paati will bring dhonnais of this from the Krishna kovil in gopalapuram! Who needs to go to heaven when you can eat divine puli saadham right in mylapore!)
7) Hotel idli and thengai chutney
8) Fat oily punjabi samosas
Watch this space for recipes!
1) Paruppu saadham with nei and plain keerai masiyal (not the keerai with paruppu) - Mom, could you post the plain keerai masiyal recipe?
2) Thick thayir saadham with maavadu oorgai (maavadu deserves its own blog, so more on that coming up later)
3) Poori and choley (made iyer aathu style)
4) Pulao and thengai paal kootu
5) Rasam saadham and chips!
6) Puli saadham - temple prasadham type (Paati will bring dhonnais of this from the Krishna kovil in gopalapuram! Who needs to go to heaven when you can eat divine puli saadham right in mylapore!)
7) Hotel idli and thengai chutney
8) Fat oily punjabi samosas
Watch this space for recipes!
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Sun tv ads
The much-hated but always-watched sun tv has made a big entry back into our house. Heres what I noticed:
- The pattu pudavais are getting more spectacular year after year. The best I have seen this year is the kolam sarees (i dont know which saree company makes this)
- The most irritating ad is for Thamizh Murasu - especially the song Summa nachunu irukku - whats with everyone using "nachunu" and "adhu" in every sentence now?
- Previously, women alone were targeted by the regressive fairness cream ads. Now, men cannot escape too- I just saw an ad for a "fair and handsome" cream!!!
- I started watching kolangal and vikramadhithya after a gap of over 10 months. I have not missed a thing!
- I swear I saw some guys with colored hair!
- Radhika's araajagam on suntv continues (now with full support from Saritha!)
- The only qualification for becoming a model for thamizh ads is to be a fair north indian
- The guy who acts as the Vedhalam in Vikramadhithya still appears in EVERY other program, especially the irritating one where he says "break" in every annoying tone possible (he insults every single poor soul that appears on the program and they give him weak embarassed smiles!)
- It looks like the salwar is slowly replacing the saree (not just favored by college girls anymore). I still think that salwars can never beat the saree when it comes to gracefulness, especially for thamizh women
- People are getting more and more verbally abusive in the mega serials; men, women alike!
- The pattu pudavais are getting more spectacular year after year. The best I have seen this year is the kolam sarees (i dont know which saree company makes this)
- The most irritating ad is for Thamizh Murasu - especially the song Summa nachunu irukku - whats with everyone using "nachunu" and "adhu" in every sentence now?
- Previously, women alone were targeted by the regressive fairness cream ads. Now, men cannot escape too- I just saw an ad for a "fair and handsome" cream!!!
- I started watching kolangal and vikramadhithya after a gap of over 10 months. I have not missed a thing!
- I swear I saw some guys with colored hair!
- Radhika's araajagam on suntv continues (now with full support from Saritha!)
- The only qualification for becoming a model for thamizh ads is to be a fair north indian
- The guy who acts as the Vedhalam in Vikramadhithya still appears in EVERY other program, especially the irritating one where he says "break" in every annoying tone possible (he insults every single poor soul that appears on the program and they give him weak embarassed smiles!)
- It looks like the salwar is slowly replacing the saree (not just favored by college girls anymore). I still think that salwars can never beat the saree when it comes to gracefulness, especially for thamizh women
- People are getting more and more verbally abusive in the mega serials; men, women alike!
Sunday, October 16, 2005
Immortal comics
Reading Chinmayi's post on Amar chitra katha comics, I immediately checked out their website - www.amarchitrakatha.com. The site is extremely well designed. Also, every comic's catalog listing is accompanied by a detailed introduction, which is very informational. Their Festival Focus section is a must-read too.
If you grew up in India, you do not need an introduction to Amar Chitra Katha comics. Their beautifully illustrated series cover a wide variety of subjects, right from Hindu mythology, Puranas and Jataka tales to stories about India's freedom struggle and great personalities (I even saw an issue on Kalpana Chawla's life)!
Every month, my parents would take me and my sister to Eshwari lending library in Gopalapuram. An elderly gentleman that works there is one of the greatest librarians in the world for sure (if you know his name, could you post it in the comment please). You can ask for any title, and he will know exactly where the book can be found! The library had bound copies, with 5 or 10 comics. I would borrow 4 of these bound comics and three Enid Blyton books. I read and re-read the 4 comics, till I could recite the entire stories perfectly (and ofcourse, my proud mom would then make me recite all these stories to my bored(!) but polite relatives). The comics even gave me an edge over my classmates in history class.
Here are some of the memorable Amar Chitra Kathas:
1) The one about how European discoverers tried to find India; It starts from Columbus sailing west, to Vascodagama finally landing in the shores of Kerala, and the events that leads to the birth of the East India trading company
2) Dasa avathar - We used this as reference, when we arranged our Dasa avathar dolls for golu!
3) The full mahabaratha series
I cannot remember the others for now, please do post your favorite titles!
When I think about the future, and where I would like to bring up my children, one of the big things in favor of Madras is the fact that I can take my kids to Eshwari lending library and they can spend their summer holidays reading all the Amar Chitra Kathas in print!
If you grew up in India, you do not need an introduction to Amar Chitra Katha comics. Their beautifully illustrated series cover a wide variety of subjects, right from Hindu mythology, Puranas and Jataka tales to stories about India's freedom struggle and great personalities (I even saw an issue on Kalpana Chawla's life)!
Every month, my parents would take me and my sister to Eshwari lending library in Gopalapuram. An elderly gentleman that works there is one of the greatest librarians in the world for sure (if you know his name, could you post it in the comment please). You can ask for any title, and he will know exactly where the book can be found! The library had bound copies, with 5 or 10 comics. I would borrow 4 of these bound comics and three Enid Blyton books. I read and re-read the 4 comics, till I could recite the entire stories perfectly (and ofcourse, my proud mom would then make me recite all these stories to my bored(!) but polite relatives). The comics even gave me an edge over my classmates in history class.
Here are some of the memorable Amar Chitra Kathas:
1) The one about how European discoverers tried to find India; It starts from Columbus sailing west, to Vascodagama finally landing in the shores of Kerala, and the events that leads to the birth of the East India trading company
2) Dasa avathar - We used this as reference, when we arranged our Dasa avathar dolls for golu!
3) The full mahabaratha series
I cannot remember the others for now, please do post your favorite titles!
When I think about the future, and where I would like to bring up my children, one of the big things in favor of Madras is the fact that I can take my kids to Eshwari lending library and they can spend their summer holidays reading all the Amar Chitra Kathas in print!
Friday, October 14, 2005
Open message to A.R Rahman - please stop the Thamizh kolai
I've never really liked A.R Rahman. I used to wonder if this was just some mindless prejudice, or because i like Illayaraja way too much (but I love Harris Jayraj too, so i'm not really partial right?)
Finally, after listening to three songs from Anbe Aaruyire, i know the reason. A.R Rahman is pseudo! What do I mean by that? Well, he is a regular Chennai dude, and he does have to earn his bread and butter by composing for Thamizh movies (Bombay dreams not withstanding). However, he tries to distance himself as much as possible from Thamizh (maybe he thinks this elevates him in some way?)Instead of simply letting his music speak for itself, he brings in singers who do not understand a single word Thamizh.
I am ok with the concept of singers singing in a different language. A lot of famous carnatic singers dont know Telugu. However, they make an effort to learn, understand, and pronounce every word perfectly. If Rahman wants to promote national integration by bringing in hindi singers, sure, thats great! But, is it too much to ask for him to make sure they dont mess words up?
Here are the songs at fault-
Mayilirage -
Music wise, A.R Rahman is FANTASTIC. This could have undoubtedly been called the song of the year. The lyrics are beautiful, beginning with the first line (Mayilirage varudugirai yennai). S.J Surya's favorite instrument is the thavil (remember Vaali's super cute sequence where Ajith sight adichufies Simran and you have a thavil-naadhaswaram combo playing the april maadhathil tune?). In this song, the thavil beats play in the background, almost throughout. A nadaswaram like instrument is also used. The male singer (Naresh Iyer) is soulful. With everything going perfectly, Rahman screws up big time by bringing in Madhushree.
She is a mediocre singer, and her thamizh is inexcusably bad. She thinks she is Alka Yagnik, and tries to sound like her. You can ignore the accent, but how can you forgive her pronouncing "kaadhal dhaan kal ezhuthu" as "kaadhal dhaan kal adithu" in the pallavi? She changes the meaning from "love is like words written in stone" to "love is only throwing stones"!!!! Also, mayil becomes "maaayil". "Iragey" becomes "irahey" and "Vaigai" becomes "Vaihai". Madhushree, did you know that there is no "h" alphabet in Thamizh.
If A.R Rahman is so anti-thamizh-singers, then he could have atleast used Shreya Goshal or Sadhana Sargam?
Thala Thala-
Sadhana does a great job, but the guy (and nobody seems to know who this singer is) does an even better job at thamizh kolai than Madhushree (if that were even possible). Heres what he does:
- Anai (as in water dam/hug) is pronounced as Aaanaaa (as in the hindi word for "come"). Was this intentional?
- Then kulam (big La) is pronounced then kulam (small la) - so "a pool of honey" becomes "a honey caste"!!!!!!!!!!
Rahman, did you lose your address book? You really couldnt find a single Thamizh singer? Or are they too fed up with your Thamizh kolai to take your phone calls? S.J Surya, neengalumaa?
Kushboo is condemned for trying to destroy Thamizh panpaadu. Why are we perfectly ok with A.R Rahman killing Thamizh itself? He need not apologize, he need not take residence up in some other state - maybe he could just rerecord the Ah Aah album using Thamizh singers? Or redeem himself in his next album atleast?
Finally, after listening to three songs from Anbe Aaruyire, i know the reason. A.R Rahman is pseudo! What do I mean by that? Well, he is a regular Chennai dude, and he does have to earn his bread and butter by composing for Thamizh movies (Bombay dreams not withstanding). However, he tries to distance himself as much as possible from Thamizh (maybe he thinks this elevates him in some way?)Instead of simply letting his music speak for itself, he brings in singers who do not understand a single word Thamizh.
I am ok with the concept of singers singing in a different language. A lot of famous carnatic singers dont know Telugu. However, they make an effort to learn, understand, and pronounce every word perfectly. If Rahman wants to promote national integration by bringing in hindi singers, sure, thats great! But, is it too much to ask for him to make sure they dont mess words up?
Here are the songs at fault-
Mayilirage -
Music wise, A.R Rahman is FANTASTIC. This could have undoubtedly been called the song of the year. The lyrics are beautiful, beginning with the first line (Mayilirage varudugirai yennai). S.J Surya's favorite instrument is the thavil (remember Vaali's super cute sequence where Ajith sight adichufies Simran and you have a thavil-naadhaswaram combo playing the april maadhathil tune?). In this song, the thavil beats play in the background, almost throughout. A nadaswaram like instrument is also used. The male singer (Naresh Iyer) is soulful. With everything going perfectly, Rahman screws up big time by bringing in Madhushree.
She is a mediocre singer, and her thamizh is inexcusably bad. She thinks she is Alka Yagnik, and tries to sound like her. You can ignore the accent, but how can you forgive her pronouncing "kaadhal dhaan kal ezhuthu" as "kaadhal dhaan kal adithu" in the pallavi? She changes the meaning from "love is like words written in stone" to "love is only throwing stones"!!!! Also, mayil becomes "maaayil". "Iragey" becomes "irahey" and "Vaigai" becomes "Vaihai". Madhushree, did you know that there is no "h" alphabet in Thamizh.
If A.R Rahman is so anti-thamizh-singers, then he could have atleast used Shreya Goshal or Sadhana Sargam?
Thala Thala-
Sadhana does a great job, but the guy (and nobody seems to know who this singer is) does an even better job at thamizh kolai than Madhushree (if that were even possible). Heres what he does:
- Anai (as in water dam/hug) is pronounced as Aaanaaa (as in the hindi word for "come"). Was this intentional?
- Then kulam (big La) is pronounced then kulam (small la) - so "a pool of honey" becomes "a honey caste"!!!!!!!!!!
Rahman, did you lose your address book? You really couldnt find a single Thamizh singer? Or are they too fed up with your Thamizh kolai to take your phone calls? S.J Surya, neengalumaa?
Kushboo is condemned for trying to destroy Thamizh panpaadu. Why are we perfectly ok with A.R Rahman killing Thamizh itself? He need not apologize, he need not take residence up in some other state - maybe he could just rerecord the Ah Aah album using Thamizh singers? Or redeem himself in his next album atleast?
Saturday, October 08, 2005
Movie Review - Ghajini
(image source: www.ghajini.com)
Story in a line:
Asin is killed by a dada because she exposes his lucrative illegal business. The dada hits Surya on the head, causing him to have short term memory loss (couldnt understand why the dada didnt think of killing him too). Surya takes revenge.
The verdict:
I loved the first half of the movie. The look of the movie is really fresh. There is no village hero seeking to reform Chennai. The hero is sauve and stylish (no catering to the masses here) and the heroine thankfully is dressed in clothes other than Saravana stores salwar kameezes. The movie is fast paced too.
But ofcourse, good things do not last. More on that later.
Surya underplays his role, and is super cute as Sanjay Ramaswamy. Asin's looks are a far cry from her debut movie, and she is sure to be the next number one in Tamizh cinema. She is chirpy (reminded me of Revathi) and certainly has more soul than the Trishas of the world. About Nayanthara...the less said, the better. Her clothes are all wrong, and her character is totally let down by the script writers.
As the movie progresses, the sodhapal factor sky rockets.
There are a bunch of unanswered questions. What happens to Riyaz Khan (the police inspector)? If Surya has attacked/killed him, why is the entire police force not searching for him? The script offers no explanation for how Surya traces all the people that he kills. Asin gets killed after a long, noisy, violent fight sequence inside and outside a posh flat in Besantnagar. When all this happens, there is not a soul around. No neighbours, no watchman, nothing! In Madras? Logic anyone?
Asin makes a big dialogue about how dadas destroy the morale of women and kill the progress they have made by exploiting them. In the end, when the villains beat Nayanthara up in a girl's hostel, a 100 girls watch, without a single girl budging. Can't a 100 girls take 5 goons out? How regressive is that?
And here is the biggest question of all...why is the movie called Ghajini?
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